Current Read: Atomic Habits | Read with Me

Quotes from

Chapter 2

It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behavior. You have a new goal and a new plan, but you haven’t changed who you are.

The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.

The biggest barrier to positive change at any level—individual, team, society—is identity conflict. Good habits can make rational sense, but if they conflict with your identity, you will fail to put them into action.

On any given day, you may struggle with your habits because you’re too busy or too tired or too overwhelmed or hundreds of other reasons. Over the long run, however, the real reason you fail to stick with habits is that your self-image gets in the way. This is why you can’t get too attached to one version of your identity. Progress requires unlearning. Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity.

The more you repeat a behavior, the more you reinforce the identity associated with that behavior. In fact, the word identity was originally derived from the Latin words essentitas, which means being, and identidem, which means repeatedly. Your identity is literally your “repeated beingness.”

As you repeat these actions, however, the evidence accumulates and your self-image begins to change. The effect of one-off experiences tends to fade away while the effect of habits gets reinforced with time, which means your habits contribute most of the evidence that shapes your identity. In this way, the process of building habits is actually the process of becoming yourself.

Each habit is like a suggestion: “Hey, maybe this is who I am.” If you finish a book, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes reading. If you go to the gym, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes exercise. If you practice playing the guitar, perhaps you are the type of person who likes music.

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. This is one reason why meaningful change does not require radical change. Small habits can make a meaningful difference by providing evidence of a new identity. And if a change is meaningful, it actually is big. That’s the paradox of making small improvements.

Of course, it works the opposite way, too. Every time you choose to perform a bad habit, it’s a vote for that identity. The good news is that you don’t need to be perfect. In any election, there are going to be votes for both sides. You don’t need a unanimous vote to win an election; you just need a majority. It doesn’t matter if you cast a few votes for a bad behavior or an unproductive habit. Your goal is simply to win the majority of the time.

For example, “Who is the type of person who could write a book?” It’s probably someone who is consistent and reliable. Now your focus shifts from writing a book (outcome-based) to being the type of person who is consistent and reliable (identity-based).

Thank you for taking out time to read. I’m Namrata if you’re visiting me for the first time, HELLO ❤ Hope you’re doing good! 🙂
Feel free to drop unsolicited love in the comment box.

Current Read : Atomic Habits | Read with Me

Read with me

Ever since 2020 started, I doubt I’ve read even a single book, except for the academic ones, of course. The year before that I read about 5 books and the year prior to that 17. I was focussing on the quality of the books and retention of the wisdom rather than quantity. But since 2020, I hadn’t felt inspired to read anything at all or even watch anything, for that matter.

I’ve started reading ‘Atomic Habits’ which I had been stalling for long. Writing about it here, will help me to share the wisdom I derive from the book and if anyone of you want to read the book alongside or just want a Chapterwise summary, you can find it below in the form of quotes, that I’ll be sharing.

I find that reading something and not taking and applying it in our life, somehow limits the wisdom. This is my way to build a habit.

Let me know what are your current reads. If you’ve read Atomic Habits, if yes, did you like it. What ways keep you motivated to keep reading consistently and not give up and any other book suggestions you might have that we may read together next.


Quotes from Chapter 1

Atomic Habits

The more tasks you can handle without thinking, the more your brain is free to focus on other areas.

Furthermore, each book you read not only teaches you something new but also opens up different ways of thinking about old ideas.

People reflect your behavior back to you. The more you help others, the more others want to help you. Being a little bit nicer in each interaction can result in a network of broad and strong connections over time.

Complaining about not achieving success despite working hard is like complaining about an ice cube not melting when you heated it from twenty-five to thirty-one degrees. Your work was not wasted; it is just being stored. All the action happens at thirty-two degrees.

“The score takes care of itself.” The same is true for other areas of life. If you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.

When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.

When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it? This is why many people find themselves reverting to their old habits after accomplishing a goal.

The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking.It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.

If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system.

Thank you for taking out time to read. I’m Namrata if you’re visiting me for the first time, HELLO ❤ Hope you’re doing good! 🙂
Feel free to drop unsolicited love in the comment box.

The High

A note to self
A reminder
Of the highs that I get
When the lows are too low
To even expect
A high
I’m high on seretonin
It’s manic
It’s a miracle
Genuine happy, music in the backdrop
Clean room and clear mind
I feel on the top of the world
I have a lingering fear
Of the approaching dip
But that’s far away for now
I want to stay humble
And grateful
Celebrating the Crest
I’m invincible, my dreams so much within my reach
I’ve friends, lots of then
Memes make me happy now
Hard work thrills me
I don’t know how long it’ll last this time
Mom says not to jinx it
I fear I’ll jinx it
But I’m inspired, and I want to etch
in ink, this moment of pure bliss
Capture it into a bottle
Take a whiff from it, for when the dip comes
For now I wanna dance
With spring in my steps
And let the shimmer sparkle
Through my eyes and words
An ode
A note
To the self
That
Happy days are here again. 

Copyright © 2021 Namrata

All Rights reserved

Thank you for taking out time to read.I’m Namrata if you’re visiting me for the first time, HELLO ❤ Hope you’re doing good! 🙂
I write about a diverse range of topics, poems, blog interviews,and silly life updates.
Feel free to Follow,like and drop unsolicited love in the comment box. 🙂

It’s okay! Blog Update

This post is simply me putting it out there that I haven’t been able to be consistent on the blog since the last few weeks. I haven’t felt inspired to post and I guess it’s okay to sometimes take a break from the usual routine. I’ve recieved requests from a few of you for the Found Ya Blog – interview series and I will get back to you guys. I apologise for slacking but right now some things are taking priority over others. Blogging for me has always been a hobby where I put out raw, unfiltered thoughts in the hope to connect with similar like minded people, reading about their journey and accomplishments through life while sharing my own with them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally in awe of the people who have very specialised, professional looking blogs and who put in a lot of effort in their every post, from curating content to scheduling them and presenting them. Maybe someday, I would have those blogging goals but right now it’s just a space for me to pour out unadulterated, raw and random thoughts and anything that inspires me, out here.

Sharing this to remind y’all and myself that all stories are important, the work in progress are as much important as are the successful ones.

Hope you all are doing well.

Thank you for reading. 🙂

Stay!

I’ve always feared
Change
People leaving
Changing roles
Sieving
Learning to let some stay
In their different way
And leave when some may
I try hard not to weigh
Hey
It’s not a parameter
To judge who loves you
Love is love
And sometimes,  love can’t stay
But hey
You’ve got you
And you do you
While we all want someone
Who wouldn’t give up
Reassurances and love
In letters and envelopes
In cards and books
They left with us
It’s Okay to move on
For us and they
Hey
You got you
And while all may lag
And some might fall
While some’ll just drag behind
Remember, You got you,
And ‘You’ shall stay.

Coming out !

This Pride month I’ve decided
to come out
Of my closet of shame
My parents tell me not to
Because it’s a taboo
I feel, however
The shame is in
Staying locked in the tower
Waiting for a rescuer
It’s not my time they say
But I’m proud of it,
Isn’t that what. It’s meant to stand for, today? 
She who’s hiding
Often my twin
A dark tangle of
webbed cobwebs
Of thoughts, fear,
Weakness, ebbs
And flows
I try making a rainbow
I end up drawing rain
Stumbling on puddles
There is no colour
I struggle, in vain
Violet and red, green and blue
I try so hard, to stay true
Finally mustering courage
To talk about the stigma
A symptom, sometimes
A cause, on another
‘Depression and anxiety’
Why even bother? 
The door’s locked
It needs inspiration
To jump out at
The very last station
Finally, unveiling, Thus-
Yours truly,
‘anonymous’. 

– Anonymous.

Dear Love | An Open Letter series #12

Hi, younger one,

I wish I could just hug you right there, kiss your forehead and tell you that don’t hold on to this feeling. I wish I could have saved you from what you went through. I wish if someone was right by your side and told you “I will never scold you and listen to all you want to pour out.”

The feelings which shakes you still, which you were too young to understand back then, when someone touched you inappropriately at places; Your very own family!
You didn’t know who to talk to – A young shaken 6 year old.
How does one tell and what??!!
I wish I could have been by your side, hugging you tight as you lay shook.

All those times you were criticized for being a girl, getting low grades, bullied; When the first time you begged mummy to bring you back home but she wouldn’t listen, you were left completely shattered.
You were lost not knowing who could bring you home. I wish I could have saved you from that and what followed. There were days when you locked yourself up into a room while not one person bothered to ask you for meals.

You tried to commit suicide!
I wish, I just wish someone was there to hold you tight, saying “It’s okay if you don’t want to do it but please don’t sacrifice.”
When you ran away too scared,  surviving a challenge, dear love, had I been there, I’d put my arms around you and hold you safe all night, every night.

Little one, the past has crushed you inside out, but please, please don’t be harsh on yourself. You have been strong all these years,  you are brave enough to handle this too. Just a little more time. Hold on to it – the insecurities, the possessiveness, the grudge. Your baggage is full but don’t you let this smirch the beautiful person within you. I know to sacrifice a part that was you is a lot but trust me when I say, in time you will shine bright than the brightest star.
Dear young one, I love you and I promise, we’ll get through this together.

Copyright © 2021 @heartthatpaintsout
All Rights reserved

The theme for this month is – “An open letter to your past self “

DM your letters at nnumrata@gmail.com

You may or may not follow the theme.You may or may not remain anonymous.

Thank you for taking out time to read.I’m Namrata if you’re visiting me for the first time, HELLO ❤ Hope you’re doing good! 
I write about a diverse range of topics, poems, blog interviews,and silly life updates.
Feel free to Follow,like and drop unsolicited love in the comment box. 🙂

Happy Father’s Day ft Indian Dad

From left: Nancy, Papa, Namrata

I was 3 when he taught me what ambition was. He taught me to spell and recite essays on the postman and cows. He held my hands and traced the writings wherein I struggled to write on my own.
We’ve had our differences growing up. He taught me how to think while often frowning upon when I thought differently. I try rationalising with him, thinking I know better. Sometimes I do. We are different people, I’m still a shadow of him. We fight over politics and religion yet keeping our differences aside when it comes to more important of things.
Growing up with an Indian dad warrants patience, forgiveness, unconditional love and the ability to see the best at your worst. In an Indian household, it is often difficult to profess your love to a father than it is to your mother. At our house, however, it never was. We professed love as strongly and frequently as we declared hatred and anger.

For the first time that you bought me box of paints, my favourite dress, prayed religiously to get me into a good primary school, dropping me at bus stop every morning at 6, staying up late for my exams and shunning television so that I wouldn’t be tempted to watch it either- I love you for that. The fact that you compliment my faded hair colour and worry when I look a tad bit too hot when I go out – I understand why.

Growing up, I have learnt how to love an Indian dad- both of us meeting midway sometimes, while obstinately holding our grounds on other ocassion. I’m grateful for you. I’m proud and I hope I make you proud too, everyday, in the way that I carry and execute myself.
Thanks for the love and the morning cup of tea and everything else.

Happy Father’s Day, Papa.

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